The Not-So-Obvious Signs of Burnout: Recognizing the Hidden Struggles

Sneaky Signs of Burnout (and How to Cope)

Burnout doesn’t always look like you’re running on empty and just need a nap. Sure, it can feel like that, but sometimes the signs are sneakier. If you’re constantly juggling multiple projects, over-delivering at work, or giving everyone else a piece of your emotional energy (while yours is running dangerously low), burnout can creep in without you realizing it. But here's the thing: burnout often shows up in much more subtle ways.

If you're feeling like something is off but can’t put your finger on it, you're not alone. And if you're checking any of these boxes, it’s time to listen. Burnout is real, and ignoring it won’t make it go away. So, let’s talk about some of the not-so-obvious signs that you might be heading down that burnout path.

1. People-Pleasing: The Fawn Response

You’ve heard of fight, flight, or freeze, right? But there’s a fourth response that’s just as common and equally exhausting: fawn. This is the people-pleasing instinct. It’s when you find yourself trying to keep the peace, saying “yes” to every request (even when you don’t have the energy), and bending over backward to avoid conflict or disappointing anyone—even at the expense of your own needs.

At first, it might feel good to help, to be needed, to be liked. But over time, constantly prioritizing others’ needs over your own can leave you feeling empty, overwhelmed, and... kind of resentful. If you’re always showing up for everyone but neglecting yourself, it’s no wonder burnout is knocking on your door.

If you're nodding along and thinking, Yeah, that's me, it's time to take a step back. Recognize the pattern. Notice how often you say yes when you really mean no. Understanding the fawn response is key to breaking the cycle and protecting your own energy.

2. Compassion Fatigue: Irritability & Depression

We often talk about burnout in terms of work, but there’s another layer to it: compassion fatigue. If you're constantly pouring out emotional labor—whether in personal relationships, at work, or in caregiving roles—you might feel emotionally drained and disconnected, which can lead to irritability or even depression.

It's easy to mistake this for just being tired or stressed. But when you’ve been giving emotionally or physically without enough time to recharge, that "tired" feeling evolves into something deeper. It’s like a slow, quiet burnout that you don’t always see coming because it feels like you’re “doing the right thing” by being there for others.

If you’re feeling more short-tempered than usual, distant from people, or like your enthusiasm for helping others is waning, it’s time to pay attention. Compassion fatigue can sneak up on you, and if you don’t take steps to address it, it can lead to full-on burnout.

3. Over-Functioning: Tying Your Self-Worth to Productivity

Let’s be real: if you’re the type who constantly runs on adrenaline, overworks, or feels like your worth is tied to your productivity, you might be stuck in an over-functioning loop. Over-functioning is when you do more than is necessary (or healthy) to feel productive, valued, or validated. It’s like that feeling when you finish a big project at work and immediately pile on another one to avoid the discomfort of slowing down.

It’s exhausting, but it can also feel validating in the moment. You might think, Look at all I’m doing! I must be a rockstar. But here’s the catch: it’s an unhealthy relationship with productivity. If you’re constantly in overdrive, your self-worth becomes tied to how much you do, rather than who you are as a person. You’re not a machine, but sometimes it’s hard to convince yourself of that when you're constantly checking off to-do lists.

Eventually, your body and mind will break down. You’ll hit a wall. If you identify with this over-functioning behavior, it's time to take a breath, reframe how you view your self-worth, and let go of the need to prove your value by always being busy.

Coping with Burnout: How Somatic Therapy & CBT Can Help

Now that we've identified some of the sneakier signs of burnout, let’s talk about how to deal with it. I use a blend of somatic therapy and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) with my clients to help them recover from burnout and manage stress in healthy ways. These approaches work because they target both the mental and physical aspects of burnout.

Somatic Therapy for Emotional Regulation

Somatic therapy is all about tuning into your body and its signals. Often, burnout is felt physically as well as mentally—tight shoulders, a clenched jaw, shallow breathing. Somatic techniques, like grounding exercises, mindful breathing, or body scans, can help you reconnect with your physical sensations and use that awareness to regulate your emotions.

For example, when you feel yourself slipping into that over-functioning zone or responding to stress by fawning, you can pause and check in with your body. Are your muscles tight? Are you breathing shallow? Are you feeling emotionally overwhelmed? The goal of somatic therapy is to slow down, listen to the messages your body is sending you, and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

CBT for Thought Patterns & Emotional Regulation

CBT helps you reframe negative thought patterns. If you’re overwhelmed by the pressure to always be “on” or feel like you’re not enough if you're not constantly performing, CBT helps identify those distorted thoughts and replace them with more balanced thinking. For example, the thought “I have to work harder to prove my worth” can be reframed to “I’m worthy of rest and care, and my value is not tied to my productivity.”

CBT helps you challenge the negative patterns that fuel burnout and learn to prioritize self-compassion, rest, and emotional health.

It’s Time to Put Your Own Oxygen Mask On

I’ll never forget my first year in my graduate social work program. My advisor gathered us in the lecture hall and said, “When the oxygen mask drops, you’re told to put yours on before helping others. Apply this to your life: you can’t care for others if you aren’t taken care of first.” Over a decade later, this concept still sticks with me.

We live in a world that rewards hustle and productivity. But if you’re feeling the weight of burnout and running on fumes, it’s okay to slow down. If you’re struggling with people-pleasing, compassion fatigue, or over-functioning, it’s time to break the cycle and create a healthier relationship with work and productivity.

Remember: you are more than what you do. Whether through somatic practices or CBT techniques, therapy can help you reclaim your energy, self-worth, and emotional well-being.

If you're ready to dive into burnout recovery or need support navigating the pressures of modern life, reach out to start therapy today. I specialize in helping high-functioning adults find balance, set boundaries, and recover from burnout using somatic and CBT practices.

Take the first step—your mind and body will thank you.